<< Betty and Me   |   Main   |   The Man Who Was Canada >>

November 14, 2004

  • God Blogged
  • November 19, 4004 BC

    Well, it was hard, but they moved out. Had to change the locks on the garden—well, they haven't created locks or metallurgy yet so I just sent an angel down with a flaming sword to scare them off.
    I'm sure it's for the best. Well, actually I am sure The next couple of millennia are going to be peachy. First kid to be born is going to discover the improper use of a rock on someone's skull and it's going to be downhill from there. Maybe in a few centuries we can have a flood and see if the fish do any better.
    Still, it was fun while it lasted.
    Current mood:  Nostalgic in a post-breakup kind of way
    Currently listening to: Starlight falling on Eden

    November 18, 4004 BC

    Aftermath today. Lots of blame being shoved from one party to the other. Dumbstick blames the woman. Woman blames a snake. They've now got neuroses about their privates. The whole thing has all gone down the toilet. I haven't been this pissed since Lucifer did his “better to rule in hell' speech.
    Current mood: Still pretty darn smitey.
    Currently listening to: Angels praising me, but it's not putting me out of my mood.

    November 17, 4004 BC

    Just one simple instruction. One for me's sake.
    Why didn't I just stop with the fish?  angry  angry
    Current mood: So smitey you're lucky you don't feel my Old Testament wrath

    November 16, 4004 BC

    OH I'M REALLY PISSED OFF.
    Current mood: Smitey. Very, very smitey.

    November 15, 4004 BC

    I've been happy for a week of relative peace and quiet and Dusty at least using his dumb-stick for what it was intended for a change. smile They've gotten bored with naming animals and plants, though. I suppose getting stuck with inventing zoology isn't the most exciting thing I can give humankind to do in the first couple of weeks, but they could be, y'know, a little more awe-struck by it all. Later we had this conversation.
    "What's that tree Lord?"
    "It's the tree of knowledge of good and evil, DustyGirl. Don't eat from it, okay?"
    "Why does she have two boobies and I have only one pee-pee?"
    Note to self: more R&D on Y chromosome required.
    I think I'll spend the evening with the fish.
    Current mood: Fishy
    Currently listening to: fish music

    November 8, 4004 BC

    Okay, made another woman. To get him interested, I told Dusty I used his rib to make her. Men are so gullible. Plus, in order to make sure this chick stuck around, I had to create codependence. wink
    Current mood: All powerful
    Currently listening to: Cherubim in flight

    November 3, 4004 BC

    Got to finish creating another woman fast. You DON'T want to know what this guy does to fill his days by himself.  sick  I'm omniscient and I don't want to know. I'm reconsidering this penis thing. Maybe I'll have them ritually cut a piece of it off in tribute to me. That'll teach them.
    Current mood: So grossed out.

    October 29, 4004 BC

    Hot damn! I created HUMAN BEINGS!
    Okay, one problem: the female took one look at the guy and split. Maybe I made them a little too intelligent. I'll have to work on that later.
    The male—I call him Dusty (since I made him from that)—hasn't noticed. He's too busy learning about his penis.
    Current mood: ecstatic

    October 28, 4004 BC

    I know they're a little simplistic, but I'm going to like the fish best of all. smile Good creatures. Efficient design—I mean, why bother with eyelids for things that live underwater? Those gill-thingies are inspired too, if I do say so myself, and I do.
    Current mood: ponderous
    Currently watching: fish

    October 26, 4004 BC

    Me-damned firmament. Keeps slipping.  mad  Just when I think I have land separated from sky something screws up. Eventually got it done, but everything's off schedule now—I had to put off seas until tomorrow. I really wanted to get everything done in a five-day work week. Good thing there's Saturday. At least I'll have Sunday off.
    Current mood: So annoyed I'd smite something if I had created something other than light, earth and sky.
    Currently listening to: Angels praising me. Never gets old.

    October 23, 4004 BC

    Created light. Boy that was hard. smile smile smile
    Current mood: Happy and bouncy in a weird, squidgy, pan-dimensional way.
    Currently listening to: Photons pinging off the universe. Very, very cool.

     

    Posted by graeme | (0) Comments | Permalink

    << Betty and Me   |   Main   |   The Man Who Was Canada >>

    Post a comment

    Name:

    Email:

    Location:

    Smileys

    Remember my personal information

    Notify me of follow-up comments?

    Submit the word you see below: